The Great Duck Detective
by KattieWatsonHolmes
Summary: John and Sherlock one shot involving one consulting detective, a rubber duck, and a very exasperated John Watson.


(**A/N) This one shot is based off of a Tumbler post I saw. Not supposed to be a Johnlock, but you can take it as that if you like. Anyway, I was bored, might not be perfect, but I thought it was cute.- KattieWatsonHolmes**

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It had been a very long and very trying day for John Watson. Sherlock hadn't allowed him to stop for breath once on this case and then he had forced John to run all over London to talk with people he knew he wouldn't learn anything from. After that, they had chased a man throughout London only to find that they had the wrong man, gotten into a fight with two thugs, gotten their wallets stolen, and then, to top everything off, had gone trudging through the sewers after a lead that got them nowhere. John was not happy, in fact he was so far from happy that it wasn't even funny. He wanted a shower, a hot cuppa, and a break from Sherlock Holmes. Unfortunately, his work as Sherlock's handler was far from over. The man in question was currently refusing to take a bath to wash off the stench of the sewer and John was very quickly losing his patience with the consulting detective.

"Jawwn," Sherlock whined as John force marched him towards the bathroom like he was a child. "I have a case! The work comes first! I don't have time for this nonsense!"

"No, not smelling like a bloody sewer comes first! Sherlock," John told Sherlock exasperatedly as he pinched the bridge of his nose. Sherlock was an over grown child.

"There's no time for this," Sherlock argued irritably as he tried to dart around John to get back into the living room.

"Sherlock," John warned as he tackled the taller man and dragged him by the collar of his purple shirt into the bathroom.

Somehow, John managed to draw a bath while grappling with Sherlock to keep him in the bathroom. Sherlock seemed to realize he wasn't getting out of taking a bath and was sitting on the lid of the toilet, his arms crossed and a pout on his face. John turned off the water as soon as the tub was filed and ordered Sherlock to take a bath in his captain's voice before he slipped out of that bathroom and stood guard by the door to make sure that Sherlock didn't try to slip out and run away. John smirked on the other side of the bathroom door as he heard Sherlock complaining loudly about how he wasn't a child and didn't need to be treated like one. Yeah, he wasn't a child yet he was complaining about taking a bath, even if he smelt like a sewer. It took a few minutes before the sound of sloshing reached John's ears, signaling that Sherlock had finally given up and had decided to just take a bath as John had requested. John relaxed against the door frame, thinking that the worse was over. Sadly, he was mistaken. **(A/N Because the author made it so. Sorry John.) **

"JAWWWWN!" Sherlock called loudly from inside the bathroom. John cringed and hoped that if he just stayed silent, Sherlock would think he hadn't heard him and would just leave him alone. "JAWWWWWWN!" Sherlock called again, this time louder. John sighed and wiped a hand tiredly down his face. He should have gotten a medal for not murdering his flat mate. "John, I can see your shadow under the door, I know you out there," Sherlock said and John shook his head throwing a 'Why me?' look at the ceiling before he slowly opened the door, averting his eyes as he walked in.

"What Sherlock? You really don't like taking care of yourself while on a case, do you?" John asked Sherlock as he kept his eyes trained on the floor to give Sherlock some privacy. Of course, it wouldn't be his fault if he saw anything, Sherlock had called him in there.

"You are the one who forced me to do this, John. I was adequately clean before now," Sherlock complained irritably and John could just hear the scowl in his words.

"You smelt like a bloody sewer! How do you call that "adequately clean!?" John asked him exasperatedly as he looked up at the consulting detective. What he saw was not what he was expecting to see. He saw Sherlock with only his knees and the top of his head visible over the top of the water with four rubber ducks floating around him in the water and something else. "YOU DIDN'T EVEN TAKE YOUR CLO-!" John started before Sherlock loudly interrupted him.

"I require another duck," Sherlock deadpanned. John stared back at him, not sure if he had just heard Sherlock properly, but the way Sherlock turned to look at him expectantly proved that he had.

"ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!" John asked him and Sherlock huffed in annoyance and rolled his eyes.

"Yes, John, I'm kidding with you,' Sherlock said sarcastically. "I didn't ask you in here just so you could watch me in the bathtub. Obviously I didn't need something I could get myself. Seriously John, use your brain. I know you have one," Sherlock quipped.

There were many things that happened after that moment. For one, John refrained from strangling his flat mate. Sherlock then got out of the tub, not even bothering to wrap a towel around himself and thus soaking John as John tackled him for the second time that evening. Lestrade turned up at the flat to find Sherlock and John yelling something about a duck and that ended up online by the next morning. Mycroft spit out his tea as he watched the hidden camera footage of the flat and saw Sherlock walking through the flat in soaked clothing, trailing water behind him, yelling loudly that one of his ducks was missing. It was at this time that Mrs. Hudson got involved and scolded him within an inch of his life for ruining her floors and making a huge mess of the flat. That night would forever be known as the Great Duck Incident and John would never forget the image of Sherlock sitting in the bathtub, full clothed, demanding another duck. It was a mark of the patience John had from years of being in the military that he didn't end up killing his flat mate that night. Of course, no one knew that at the same time Sherlock and John were arguing in the flat, one consulting criminal was sitting in a bubble bath, having lead a chase in the sewers earlier that day and was playing with a single rubber duck which he had conveniently stolen from Baker Street.


End file.
